Monday, April 25, 2005

My Birthday

Today is my birthday, and for no related reason, I am awake very early. I had lunch with my parents and sister yesterday in the Upper West Side, at a Mexican restaurant named Gabriella's. I enjoyed it very much, but even more than that, I managed to become an official New Yorker. Yes, I got an Ipod (mini.) So far, I've loaded all my music on it, and it sits in my bag right now. I have never before been so excited to walk somewhere, as I can now do it to a soundtrack.

I always really enjoy my birthday, but I'm not sure why. The whole premise of celebrating birthdays is kind of silly--what exactly are you rejoicing for, not dying? Why do you get gifts on your birthday? It seems strangely divorced from logic.

In fact, I think you should be buying me presents all the time

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Pompous Weekly

It seems that there is some sort of publication for any activity a human chooses to engage in. There are magazines for fishing enthusiasts, car enthusiasts, gun enthusiasts, pompous conservatives (The National Review and The Weekly Standard), pompous liberals (The Nation and Mother Jones), pompous music scholars (any magazine that mentions Conor Oberst and "genius" four times in one page), and pompous assholes (Cigar Aficionado). Clearly this is telling America that the pompous have a voice and they need to be heard. I say, shout it out, oh Emperor of the patronizing tone, and let the peons and philistines hear you condescend to their sadly humble level. Take up the pompous man's burden.


[Editor's note: I grossly overused the words "enthusiast" and "pompous" because I like they way they look. The decision was purely aesthetic.]

Friday, April 22, 2005

Astor Place

Astor Place is a fine example of a commericalized yet funky street here in New York. I am not sure about the nomenclature, but I think it qualifies as being part of the East Village. From where it starts between Waverly and 8th Street on Broadway, the first few shops you see are:

1. A Vitamin Store
2. Astor Place barbershop (a pretty famous place where famous people get famous haircuts)
3. Coldstone
4. Barnes and Noble

If that isn't an effective cross-section of American life, I don't know what is. All I do know is that I easily get lost on Astor Place in a hazy, consumerist euphoria of discount books and expensive ice cream. Today, as I walked past the Gap (oh yeah, there is a Gap right by Astor Place, but those are sort of everywhere) on 8th Street, I saw two yuppies prattling on about yuppy #1's newest cell phone. I'd like to pretend that I heard them purely by accident, but I was trying to listen to them in a cheap effort to amuse myself. Mission accomplished, and now I will use it to amuse you.

Yuppy 1: Dude, this phone stores over 500 phone numbers.
Yuppy 2: Dude, you don't even know 500 people.
Yuppy 1: Yeah, but with a phone like this, people will be dying to be friends with me.

And he's right. I almost became friends with him on the spot.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Michel "Mindwarper" Gondry

Today I watched 6 music videos directed by Michel Gondry for my writing class. What his videos have to do with writing, I haven't figured it out yet. I don't have too much to say about his videos, I just encourage you to watch them. I will say this: Michel Gondry's only mission is to blow your mind.

And blow it he shall.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

College v. High School

When I graduated from High School, I left it behind. I haven't been back since that day in June. I haven't spoken to any of my teachers. I haven't made any earnest efforts to contact anyone who works there. A great deal of this is by design. I was so anxious to come to college and experience all that it had to offer, that I didn't want to miss out on college by looking backwards. In this pursuit, it appears that I neglected my High School, and ostensibly, my hometown. To many of my friends in High School, this is a grevious offense. Some of them feel that I am purposefully ignoring them because I am too good for them, or some such nonsense. In truth, it didn't really cross my mind to call them all the time, or make plans to hang out when I am in town for 1-2 days. That probably sounds horribly selfish, but it's true. There are only a few people from my High School that I take pains to contact. In generous terms, it numbers around 10. I don't really see this as a problem, however, but rather a natural consequence of college.
I feel I should qualify this by saying that I had a great time in High School. For the most part, I had good teachers who cared about their jobs, I had a good group of friends who supported me, and I managed to manipulate enough of the High School infrastructure that I got away with late papers, being late to class, late submission of community service forms, and late submission of college applications. There are about one or two teachers that I want to stay in touch with, but outside them I am not really interested. I am incredibly glad that there are a lot of kids that I knew in High School that I don't have to see again. Most of the people I am happy to never cross again were self-centered and arrogant tools, and a lot of them used to whine about they were so much smarter than everyone, how they were so socially awkward but good-hearted, how the jocks stole the girls that were so sweet and who Lamey McPoser admired from afar, and brag about obscure music and esoteric tv shows that nobody cared about. In short, they were hipsters, I just didn't know it then. I have mercifully left those people behind.
Once I got to college, I was meeting tons of people on a daily basis. I made friends with a lot of them, and we grew very close very fast. By December, I would say I was as close/closer to my college friends as I was to almost everyone I knew in High school, save 3-5 people. By living with these people, it had put our friendship in a time compressor--it felt like we had known each other forever. By now, as the year comes to a close, I am remembering all the kids in my high school who I thought I'd never see again, but realize that there is no real escaping them. It is easy when we are all scattered across the country, but when shoved into a town of roughly 3 entertainment options and about 2 diners, there is very little chance that I can effectively avoid them. I wonder if I can ignore them--I mean really ignore them--or if I'll have to resort to being actively hostile. There is a good chance a lot of my exchanges with those I've ignored will play out something like this:

Weird Guy/Girl: Hey, how's it going? You live in New York now right? How is that? (Girl-->)Oh my god, I totally want to live in New York. (Guy-->)I'll bet you see so many hot chicks. We should meet up some time.
Me: Look Weird Guy/Girl, I didn't like you then, I don't like you now. The only difference now is that I don't see you every day in English class, so I don't have to pretend. Have a nice life, and hopefully this is the last time I'll speak to you in a non-emergency situation (read: This place is on fire or I'm suffering from pneumothorax right here in Applebee's.)

It is going to be a very interesting summer.

Monday, April 11, 2005

My love of Turkish pop

I think it was in 1999, during a visit to India, that I first was introduced to the symphonic genius of Turkish pop singer Tarkan. He had a chart topping smash in the song "Simarik" which I believe translates to "Kiss Kiss" or "Stolen Kiss." You might have heard it covered by a variety of artists, but Holly Valance popularized it in English. I don't know a single word in this song, and even when I looked up an English translation, it confused me more than people who like Sean Hannity. If you are willing to overlook abject bemusement, I think this is a finely crafted pop song. I don't mean to use "pop song" as a pejorative description, just that "Simarik" isn't meant to be exceedingly deep, and is mercifully free of affectation (read: Coldplay.) It is a fun and free song, or at least I think it is. There is something amusing about listening to foreign music, because not only do I know nothing about the lyrics, I don't know anything about the singer. I saw the music video for this song on Indian MTV a few times, but I am not privy to any other information about our beloved Tarkan. Apparently, he is a huge star and is recording an English album due out this Spring, but I've never heard from him since I saw him on Indian MTV 6 years ago. If you can get this song, I highly endorse it. Maybe listen to it while you are alone, as it is impossible to be blue when some faceless Turkish guy is spouting lyrics like:
Seni gidi findik kiran
Yilani deliginden cikaran
Kaderim puskullu belam
Yakalarsam (kiss kiss)

Just go with it.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Washington Square Park

One of the many great things about NYU is Washington Square Park. Surrounded by NYU classrooms, dorms, and other facilities, it acts as NYU's quad, a public square, and in these days of nice weather is a place to sit and marvel at how amazing it is to live in Greenwich Village. I particularly enjoy sitting out there shooting the breeze with a friend, reading a book, or soaking up the assorted characters of the Village. Unfortunately, massive and generally pointless renovations are scheduled to begin in June, and it will render the park impotent for 2 (scheduled) years. However, given that the 2 year timeframe given for the Washington Square Arch renovation expanded to a robust 9.5 years, I'd say the City inspires skepticism in its estimates.

I'm not much of an activist, but there are some things that are worth fighting for. Go HERE to get information about what you can do. Don't be passive on such a crucial issue.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Meet the Federlines

When I saw this on my Google News page, I nearly threw up in my own mouth. The idea is that Britney wants to "express herself" through "art." It is an act of supreme hubris to assume that anyone cares what Britney's dating life was like--and if the pictures I've seen while on line at the store are to be believed, it has consisted of unequal parts Marlboro Light, Cheetos, and iced latte. I imagine that if the best part of your day is to sit down with your partner and recap a day in the life of Britney Federline, on UPN no less, you might as well just quit. UPN is owned by Viacom, as is MTV, which has already blazed new trails in the voyeurism of vapid celebs. I hope that nobody will watch any of these six audio-visual treats that are sure to be self-indulgent shrines to Britney, but I know people will. I can only pray that I won't be one of them.
* * * *
For some reason that still eludes me, I have decided that listening to The Shins hundreds of time will help me retain macroeconomic information, and the more I think about it, I'm sure it doesn't. My only hope is that, in an incredibly happy accident, The Shins have subliminally programmed their lyrics to teach the pros and cons of expansionary fiscal policy.

Fingers crossed.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

I knew going to Dartmouth couldn't be good for you

My friend Dom has decided to abuse the free email addresses colleges bestow upon their students by creating the following Dartmouth email aliases:
(note, these are in addition to his primary email, which is just his name--how lame.)

1. Stayhot
2. Seinfeld
3. KelVarnsen
4. VanNostrand
5. GeorgeCostanza
6. Rudy Giuliani

Aside from four of these being allusions to Seinfeld, the first and last are named for a nonsensical saying and a former New York mayor.

I'm trying to get him to register David.Dinkins@dartmouth.edu

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Colossus

I'm afraid this post is going to be slightly nerdy.

There is a famous, and somewhat controversial Scottish historian who teaches at Harvard and holds a chair at NYU named Niall (pronounced Neal) Ferguson. Ferguson is something of a hybrid academic, focusing on history, political science, finance/economics and other disciplines. He is known for his books on subjects as diverse as the Rothschild family, the British Empire, the intersection of money and political power in his book The Cash Nexus, and most recently a book titled Colossus; The Rise and Fall of the American Empire. I've read Ferguson's articles before and I really like him, not just because I am a huge geek about this sort of thing, but because Ferguson engages in what is known as counter-factual history, where one makes a claim 'what if...' and then examines the possible consequences. One of his famous and controversial claims is that Europe, and maybe the world at large, would have been better off had Great Britain never gotten involved in the First World War. I must admit, I don't know too much about this particular theory, but it has to do with the costs and benefits of allowing Germany to acquire limited territory in a continental war and having it lead to a free, liberalized Weimar Republic. But I digress, my main point here is the contentions Ferguson makes in Colossus. Ferguson's claim is that in America, it's fine for liberals to call the United States an empire, as long as you hate the fact that it is. For conservatives, it is acceptable to act like America is an empire, as long as you never call it one. Ferguson says this is silly, and that people should embrace American imperialism, contending that historically, the world benefits from an enlightened empire. The major benefits of a strong but benevolent empire are: relative lack of world wars, spreading of free market economics, and development of manifestly underdeveloped regions. Ferguson points to examples of Germany and Japan, where an American influence, which was interventionist and one might argue imperialist, had an overwhelmingly positive impact and has created democratic and economically stable societies. The difference between Germany/Japan and what is currently being called American imperialism in Afghanistan/Iraq is that now, the United States is trying to nation-build on the cheap and by proxy. In order for these things to work, Ferguson claims, the country needs a strong and sustained US presence with US personnel building the institutions needed for real democratic reforms. In Germany and Japan, occupations lasted for 7-8 years, and now American politicians and voters are only willing to devote 18-24 months, and then expect to hand off the new country to natives with little or no experience with democracy. Ferguson contends that America is going about this all wrong, and will have to reconcile the fact that the United States IS an empire, and has acted like an empire since its inception (a little thing called Manifest Destiny is textbook imperialism, as is extending influence into Latin America.)

If you have no friends and are interested in the interface between finance/economics and supranational empire building, Colossus is for you.