Sometimes, it's not even a shot away

This morning, I finished watching a movie I started about 3 months ago, Layer Cake, starring a pre-bond Daniel Craig. I can say it was one of the best gangster movies I've seen in a long time. London crime films are very satisfying, and psychologically gratifying to me, because London never strikes me as a crime city. Living there for a semester, I tended to view everything through rose colored glasses. I was besotted with everything I saw, and it probably didn't hurt that I am naturally drawn to the posh, elegant areas of the city and didn't hang out at The Blind Beggar or other underworld establishments. I lived between Hyde Park and Regents Park for god's sake. However, there has always been a thriving gangster culture in London, and you would be mistaken to believe that British gangsters are like an episode of Mr. Bean Goes to the Mafia. They are hard-bitten and control illicit industries with iron fists, even if they are sheathed in velvet. Never is this more clear than in Layer Cake, which has been praised for its realistic portrayal of drug dealing specifically and of crime syndicates in London generally. It is an very complex and engaging film that is only marred, albeit slightly, by the wholly needless presence of Sienna Miller. Miller plays a floozy of indeterminate purpose who catches the eye of Craig's unnamed character. Her appearances on screen serve chiefly to allow the film's producers to provide a paper thin pretext to have Craig expose his pectorals to the audience, and in so doing mesmerize every women (and most men) in an 8 mile radius. Even heterosexual men like myself cannot deny his magnetism that draws both on physical other-worldliness and the raw confidence he portrays--GQ does pieces on "man crushes" because of men like Daniel Craig. To describe the film's plot would risk giving something away, because it twists like an Italian Formula 1 course, but you should see it (but not with your girlfriend if you want to stay together).

This evening, I also watched the highlights of my other new favorite gangster film, The Departed. I've already written about this movie back in October, when I saw it, but I was reminded today how much Martin Scorsese loves the song "Gimme Shelter" by the Rolling Stones. It features in Goodfellas, Casino, and at least twice in The Departed. The reason I noticed it especially here was because it is also featured in one of Miller and Craig's more amorous moments in Layer Cake. Something about this song attracts gangster filmmakers, good movies, or it is just a fortuitous confluence of events for fans of the song like me. I'm not going to look too deeply into it, because if you learn nothing from Layer Cake and The Departed, now this--If you go looking for trouble, you're sure as hell going to find it.

El Mundo Nuevo

Next week, I will be taking a vacation with my roommates to La Republica Dominicana for a seven day, six night tour of mayhem and debauchery. I never liked when travel advertisements do that thing where they compartmentalize the trip--it seems weird to me. But the real point is that I will be sitting in warm climates, relaxing with my friends, and exploring a native culture.

If I were not confident that my readers already knew that I am an enormous nerd, I would feel self-conscious about revealing my excitement at visiting one of the places that Christopher Columbus established as a settlement. As a corollary, I think if you are not enthused at that idea, you have either no appreciation for history or you're comatose. Either way, you would not make a good travel companion. I happen to think Columbus was a megalomaniac and his actions contributed to the deaths of thousands of indigenous people, but he is indisputably significant, and his voyages are worth knowing about, and the notion that I will be standing on land that was "The New World" makes me want to give someone a blanket of small pox. I'm kidding, I don't even think they make those anymore. After that we'll be luxuriating in a resort and enjoying all the trappings of wealthy foreigners. I'll be doing my best to pump money into the island at an alarming rate, as I'm fairly confident that the spending shock that will ensue upon our arrival will push so much money into the economy that we'll cause huge inflationary pressure that could ultimately destabilize the regime. That's how hard I'll be throwing down.

After we leave, you might want to look into the Dominican Republic--we'll make it cheap for you.

Best Artist To Use The Word Colostomy In Her Lyrics

Lily Allen is one of the latest iterations of Myspace popstars, but unlike artists like Cassie, Allen is pretty good. I know hipsters that read this will castigate me for coming so late to the party, but I would defend myself by saying that I've actually been listening to Lily Allen since the summer of 2006. When I was in London last spring, I heard rumblings of her, and because she's certainly not shy of making her views on other artists known the press likes to comment on her to see what scathing remarks she'll make about Kylie, Bob Geldoff, or cocaine. I really like how incredibly off-the-cuff she is, and I especially like that she doesn't change her behavior after getting into "trouble" for it. (I put trouble in quotes because being rebuked by catty journalists is a badge of honor for artists). If you read her interviews or watch her on telly, you'll realize that she's a brassy chick--I dig it. If I had any quibble with her it would be that she acts like chav when she's really from a rich family and went to Bedales. No shame in being rich, Lily--especially if you keep singing amazing parodies (that even work as stand alone songs) like Window Shopper. I've listened to this song about 47 times today, and I love it more each time, especially because the song it parodies is an absolutely awful Fifty Cent tune.



Lily Allen, I hope you forgive me for lending you my support, as it will make you seem a lot less cool and indie.



Après moi, le déluge.

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Apathy meets Shamelessness

I saw an advertisement for the movie School for Scoundrels that had the tagline "Bad Santa meets Napoleon Dynamite." This seems like the absolute laziest way to market a film--to pick two movies that the film's lead actors starred in and describe their new movie as a hybrid of the previous two. It really bothered me that some marketing or studio exec flipped that off in 15 seconds and then went to Balthazar for an expensed account lunch.



Although it would be a pretty sweet gig if I could get it.

But Not Tired of Irony.

Mitt Romney declares his candidacy for President in Michigan, proclaiming "We are weary of the bickering and bombast, we’re fatigued by the posturing and self-promotion." This is a well-intentioned and widely held belief, but it is somewhat undercut by the image of Romney bemoaning self-promotion while standing over a plaque emblazoned with MittRomney.com

You couldn't make it funnier if you workshopped it for a month.

The Calming Effects of Dyer

A little rule, a little sway,
A sunbeam in a winter's day,
Is all the proud and mighty have
Between the cradle and the grave.

That is from John Dyer's poem Grongar Hill. I think it is a beautiful quote that more people should view their lives through. It sounds fatalistic to some, but I rather like the idea that little of what I do matters in the grand scheme of time and the universe. In a thousand years from now, if I am not remembered or venerated, I would not be bothered. I am content to carve out meaning for my life in the small sphere where it exists, and do not require some larger understanding of what it all means and why we're all here. I don't know precisely why I was thinking of all this, but it struck me today as I studied for an exam.

I remember watching an interview with biologist and anti-theist Richard Dawkins, and he was asked by an Irish Catholic audience member if (loosely paraphrased) 'there is no God and no meaning or purpose to the universe, isn't that horribly depressing?' Dawkins countered that if there is no design or purpose to our existence on this planet, it is in fact liberating, because now we can all create our own purpose--pursue our own plans or goals and dreams, and not have to work towards some determined endgame. It is this interview that I probably had in mind when I came across Dyer's quote again today, because it says that being rich and powerful is transient. I regard ephemeral wealth and power as a pursuit unworthy of serious effort once the wealth surpasses the scope of modest comforts like comfortable chairs and nice shoes.

I look forward to deciding on my purpose and attacking it with gusto, but now I am going to sleep. For all I know, my purpose may be to sleep and browse the Internet to absorb random and spurious trivia. I hope it is that, because I'm quite good at that as we speak.

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Trader Joe for America 2008

There is currently only one Trader Joe's grocer in Manhattan, and it happens to be close enough to me that I can visit it almost anytime that I want. Up until a year ago, Whole Foods dominated this neighborhood's demand for food and pretension, but Trader Joe's has them beaten by a country mile. Customers are spilling out of this store at all hours of the day and night, so much so that when I tried to get the inside dope and asked a cashier when the best time to do my shopping would be, he shot me a look that suggested that he thought he was dealing with a newbie--an arriviste. I said, "You know, when is prime time, so I can avoid it?" He simply said, "It's prime time from open to close, baby." Normally I don't like being called baby by guys named Fabrice who I've just met, but here it felt appropriate.



Fabrice was right though. I've switched it up in every permutation I can imagine, and I can almost never outsmart the beast. TJ's is packed to the gills constantly, but they've manged to stay one step ahead of this curve. If you get on the express line, which I always do because shopping for more than 12 items at a time is a bit much to carry, you can shop from the line. Basically, you call out items you'd like (Tangerine juice, goat cheese, flaxseed oil) and a peon brings it to you. It keeps the store from being congested, and the lines move remarkably fast. The store has something like 20 registers, and they turn these cats out like nobody's business. Actually, to be more accurate it is Joe's business. The line can snake to the doors, and you won't be there more than 15-20 minutes. This post is not a rant or anything, it is more of a valentine to the logisitical genius that is Trader Joe's.



Congratulations on the Manhattan store's stunning profitability. Lord know's you've earned it Joe/Jacques/Giotto.

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