Meet the Federlines

When I saw this on my Google News page, I nearly threw up in my own mouth. The idea is that Britney wants to "express herself" through "art." It is an act of supreme hubris to assume that anyone cares what Britney's dating life was like--and if the pictures I've seen while on line at the store are to be believed, it has consisted of unequal parts Marlboro Light, Cheetos, and iced latte. I imagine that if the best part of your day is to sit down with your partner and recap a day in the life of Britney Federline, on UPN no less, you might as well just quit. UPN is owned by Viacom, as is MTV, which has already blazed new trails in the voyeurism of vapid celebs. I hope that nobody will watch any of these six audio-visual treats that are sure to be self-indulgent shrines to Britney, but I know people will. I can only pray that I won't be one of them.

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For some reason that still eludes me, I have decided that listening to The Shins hundreds of time will help me retain macroeconomic information, and the more I think about it, I'm sure it doesn't. My only hope is that, in an incredibly happy accident, The Shins have subliminally programmed their lyrics to teach the pros and cons of expansionary fiscal policy.

Fingers crossed.