Charlie Sheen is irresistable

Part of my weeknight routine here is watching the Simpsons and Two and a Half Men from 6-7 PM. It's a nice way to reconnect with home, because two dimensional yellow people and Malibu bachelors remind me of my own life living in a 5 person apartment in Chinatown. I admit, it's a bit of a leap. Actually, all the NYU students here in London are gripped by the show Prison Break, and we talk about it a lot, but I digress. The focus here is Two and a Half Men. As far as diversions go, this is a pretty good one, especially because I like Charlie Sheen in everything he does. The creator of Two and a Half Men is a guy named Chuck Lorre who famously writes a title card for the credits of every episode of the show. They're something of short comedy vignettes and a lot of them make me chuckle. One of the best ones is this one, because it makes me think and is in line with something I'd say at a job interview just to weird someone out.

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #112

When I was in the shower this morning, I thought: If we assume a Big Bang beginning of the universe, then every molecule, every atom, every proton, every electron, every quark, every wavelength, every vibration, every multi-dimensional string, every everything that makes up everything else shares an ineffable property of pre-Bang Oneness. Assuming that, then every everything is always moving in one of two directions: either away from that primordial state, or returning towards it. We feel these quantum movements. Moving away is experienced as loneliness, fear, anger and despair. Returning is experienced as one or more of the infinite variations and gradations of what we call love. Now, while some might say that equating the miracle of human feelings to the meandering of sub-atomic bric-a-brac robs them of their mystery, the truth is quite the opposite. Connecting our fundamental experience of life to the great mystery of existence ties us to the eternal within our every waking moment. We are not separate. We are made of the same stuff that existed at the beginning and will exist at the end. Therefore, the question we must each ask ourselves is simple: "In what direction am I moving today - towards oneness, or away from it?" When I was done reflecting on this, I stepped out of the shower, toweled off, and, while glancing at the mirror, pondered a new thought: "I have a pretty nice ass for a guy my age."

Good times.