Spellin' Mistaches

For whatever reason, the practice of adhering to an understood spelling of words is out the window. Spelling properly is seen as uncool and ancient, according to urban marketing that has swept every phase of product development in the past 10 years. Lately, if you use 's' instead of 'z', you might as well put your spokesman on a polo horse, because your product is undoubtedly "white."

I'm a pretty hip and with-it guy, as evidenced by the fact that I only wear a belt 2 days a week and sometimes wear my loafers with jeans. I can stand some incorrect spelling in an effort to make your brand seem rebellious. But I have urban friends who think most of this stuff is patronizing bullshit and has become a parody of itself. And I tend to agree. For example, on the ground floor of my office is a smoothie place. The smoothies they serve are complex mixtures of all kinds of berries and the like. They call these concoctions....fuuzh'ns. Say it aloud, it will only sort of make sense. This is the hip way of saying "fusion" because on top of replacing 's' with 'z', meaningless apostrophes are now de rigueur.

It makes me want to throw up all over the phloaah'z.