The End of an Era

At about 1:15 AM this morning, early by anyone's standards, I crept into my house after a night of revelry with my friends (who called me it seems.) My parents were sleeping, so I took great pains to silently approach my bedroom. Once inside, I empty my pockets of cell phone, keys, wal...shit.

I lost my wallet.

Immediately I get on the phone and call the people who I was with. I ask them to check their cars, their backyards, any where I would lose my wallet. I go to sleep without any further news, confident it will turn up.

This morning, it's status check time. All my leads crumble to dust as nobody sees the wallet anywhere nor do I find it in my extensive search including visiting the places I went and inquiring to its status. It becomes clear to me that my inability to find a wallet means I don't watch nearly enough Law and Order. I contemplate calling Chris Meloni and call in that favor he owes me from when I handed him a napkin and stirrer at a deli on University Place. I know he remembers.

Despite my scatterbrained nature, I am pretty good about keeping track of my belongings. At school, I lost my room key, but I found it after about a day or two. Other than that, I keep my stuff together. I quickly did an inventory of what's in my wallet and feel like a Capital One commerical. Credit cards, ATM card, Drivers License, Office ID, NYU ID, train ticket for the month of July, petty cash, health insurance, car insurance. Of all those things, what I really miss is the license. Not having permission to drive is like being 14 again. Thus began a long day of calling credit card companies to cancel cards and filling out forms online to get a new license. I was immensely thrilled to find out I don't have to sit in the cesspool of modern society that is the DMV. I am not too worried about the whole situation, because beyond the train ticket everything else can and is being replaced. It is more annoying and stupid that I have been stripped of everything I need to entertain myself (car and money) because I misplaced something so important. I feel like an idiot who needs to be told to watch my stuff.

I realize that this entire narrative was very boring. Why do you, my faithful and incredibly sexy reader, want to read about the trials of me and my American Express customer service representative? You don't, of course, and I will let you go now before you realize that this entire blog is a waste of time, mine and yours.

Send me $20.