Best Artist To Use The Word Colostomy In Her Lyrics

Lily Allen is one of the latest iterations of Myspace popstars, but unlike artists like Cassie, Allen is pretty good. I know hipsters that read this will castigate me for coming so late to the party, but I would defend myself by saying that I've actually been listening to Lily Allen since the summer of 2006. When I was in London last spring, I heard rumblings of her, and because she's certainly not shy of making her views on other artists known the press likes to comment on her to see what scathing remarks she'll make about Kylie, Bob Geldoff, or cocaine. I really like how incredibly off-the-cuff she is, and I especially like that she doesn't change her behavior after getting into "trouble" for it. (I put trouble in quotes because being rebuked by catty journalists is a badge of honor for artists). If you read her interviews or watch her on telly, you'll realize that she's a brassy chick--I dig it. If I had any quibble with her it would be that she acts like chav when she's really from a rich family and went to Bedales. No shame in being rich, Lily--especially if you keep singing amazing parodies (that even work as stand alone songs) like Window Shopper. I've listened to this song about 47 times today, and I love it more each time, especially because the song it parodies is an absolutely awful Fifty Cent tune.



Lily Allen, I hope you forgive me for lending you my support, as it will make you seem a lot less cool and indie.



Après moi, le déluge.

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Apathy meets Shamelessness

I saw an advertisement for the movie School for Scoundrels that had the tagline "Bad Santa meets Napoleon Dynamite." This seems like the absolute laziest way to market a film--to pick two movies that the film's lead actors starred in and describe their new movie as a hybrid of the previous two. It really bothered me that some marketing or studio exec flipped that off in 15 seconds and then went to Balthazar for an expensed account lunch.



Although it would be a pretty sweet gig if I could get it.

But Not Tired of Irony.

Mitt Romney declares his candidacy for President in Michigan, proclaiming "We are weary of the bickering and bombast, we’re fatigued by the posturing and self-promotion." This is a well-intentioned and widely held belief, but it is somewhat undercut by the image of Romney bemoaning self-promotion while standing over a plaque emblazoned with MittRomney.com

You couldn't make it funnier if you workshopped it for a month.

The Calming Effects of Dyer

A little rule, a little sway,
A sunbeam in a winter's day,
Is all the proud and mighty have
Between the cradle and the grave.

That is from John Dyer's poem Grongar Hill. I think it is a beautiful quote that more people should view their lives through. It sounds fatalistic to some, but I rather like the idea that little of what I do matters in the grand scheme of time and the universe. In a thousand years from now, if I am not remembered or venerated, I would not be bothered. I am content to carve out meaning for my life in the small sphere where it exists, and do not require some larger understanding of what it all means and why we're all here. I don't know precisely why I was thinking of all this, but it struck me today as I studied for an exam.

I remember watching an interview with biologist and anti-theist Richard Dawkins, and he was asked by an Irish Catholic audience member if (loosely paraphrased) 'there is no God and no meaning or purpose to the universe, isn't that horribly depressing?' Dawkins countered that if there is no design or purpose to our existence on this planet, it is in fact liberating, because now we can all create our own purpose--pursue our own plans or goals and dreams, and not have to work towards some determined endgame. It is this interview that I probably had in mind when I came across Dyer's quote again today, because it says that being rich and powerful is transient. I regard ephemeral wealth and power as a pursuit unworthy of serious effort once the wealth surpasses the scope of modest comforts like comfortable chairs and nice shoes.

I look forward to deciding on my purpose and attacking it with gusto, but now I am going to sleep. For all I know, my purpose may be to sleep and browse the Internet to absorb random and spurious trivia. I hope it is that, because I'm quite good at that as we speak.

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Trader Joe for America 2008

There is currently only one Trader Joe's grocer in Manhattan, and it happens to be close enough to me that I can visit it almost anytime that I want. Up until a year ago, Whole Foods dominated this neighborhood's demand for food and pretension, but Trader Joe's has them beaten by a country mile. Customers are spilling out of this store at all hours of the day and night, so much so that when I tried to get the inside dope and asked a cashier when the best time to do my shopping would be, he shot me a look that suggested that he thought he was dealing with a newbie--an arriviste. I said, "You know, when is prime time, so I can avoid it?" He simply said, "It's prime time from open to close, baby." Normally I don't like being called baby by guys named Fabrice who I've just met, but here it felt appropriate.



Fabrice was right though. I've switched it up in every permutation I can imagine, and I can almost never outsmart the beast. TJ's is packed to the gills constantly, but they've manged to stay one step ahead of this curve. If you get on the express line, which I always do because shopping for more than 12 items at a time is a bit much to carry, you can shop from the line. Basically, you call out items you'd like (Tangerine juice, goat cheese, flaxseed oil) and a peon brings it to you. It keeps the store from being congested, and the lines move remarkably fast. The store has something like 20 registers, and they turn these cats out like nobody's business. Actually, to be more accurate it is Joe's business. The line can snake to the doors, and you won't be there more than 15-20 minutes. This post is not a rant or anything, it is more of a valentine to the logisitical genius that is Trader Joe's.



Congratulations on the Manhattan store's stunning profitability. Lord know's you've earned it Joe/Jacques/Giotto.

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